Why I Haven’t Blogged

By Sean Patrick

Over the past few weeks my blogs have been few and far between. I apologize. I enjoy blogging immensely, but lately I haven’t been able to get around to it. Why? Well, there’s plenty of reasons.

I belong to a gym. One of my vows during this sabbatical was to get in better shape, so I signed up to work out at Snap Fitness. What I’ve found is that committing yourself to a workout routine takes time. The routine itself takes about an hour and a half, but talking myself into breaking that routine takes much longer. That’s my regular workout regimen. Wake up, think to myself how badly I need to go to the gym, and then talk myself out of it.

“It’s too bright outside. You don’t want to go blind.”

“Just don’t eat today. And maybe try to vomit.”

“Learn to be comfortable in your own body, like a plus sized model.”

I spend hours convincing myself that I don’t need to go to the gym. When it finally works and I decide not to go, it’s 10 pm and I’m tired. No energy to blog. 

Sometimes I struggle for material. I try to think of stuff to write daily, but because I’m alone for eight hours a day, not much happens to me. So I have to try and come up with new ideas, and sometimes I’m not able to. Sure, I could always blog about the countless amounts of drunken escapades that I’ve experienced… but there are only so many drunken stories I can post on this website before my friends and family are forced to plan an intervention.

Books about celebrities taking meth. For Christmas I received the Andre Agassi book from my girlfriend, and at the same time my sister let me borrow the Jodie Sweetin book. (For all you jocks that don’t know, that’s Stephanie from Full House (For all you jocks that don’t know what Full House is… well… I just feel sorry for you)). The books are as addicting as the meth that they struggled with, and my preoccupation with them has caused me to spend less time blogging. Just another downfall caused by their drug habits. 

Everyone’s Winter breaks. I consider the writing that I do as my job… my job in which the dress code is strictly pajamas and the hours range anywhere between 1 to 4 hours a day. I’m my own boss, and when friends of mine are on vacation for the holidays, I kindly grant myself a vacation as well. Since so many different friends of mine had numerous vacation days during the last couple of weeks, I was forced to give myself a bunch of time off. It was great for the morale of my company, but terrible for the productivity. So if you have any complaints regarding my recent lack of blogs, please take it up with my boss.

Avatar in 3D. I only saw it once, but for those of you who don’t know, the running time for the movie is 43 hours and 16 minutes. 

The amount of drinking that I did the last few weeks. I think I may have drank myself into a temporary coma. For days I felt like the reincarnation of Terri Schiavo. Finally my brain is beginning to function regularly and my limbs are operating smoothly, giving me the ability to blog again. It’s a Christmas miracle.