Things I’ve Recently Discovered I Like Doing

By Sean Patrick

Cleaning lint traps – I was never aware of how delightful of a process this is. I find myself going into the communal laundry room in the middle of the day just to see if there is some extra lint that needs to be removed from the dryer. It’s such an easy clean. In one full scoop, all this lint just goes into your hand and is ready to be eaten.

You are supposed to eat it, right?

Wearing sandals and socks… at the same time! – It’s a fashion disaster, so I never leave the building doing it. But once I’m within the confines of my apartment, I am a sandals and socks wearin fool. If there was a fashion police, I would be arrested everyday. Like Bobby Brown. 

Pink Wafer Cookies – I always knew I liked these, but it’s been a while since I had them. I decided to buy a box of pink wafers from the Jewel the other day… since then I have gained twenty- six pounds and have permanently stained pink teeth. Like Bobby Brown.

… ok, it didn’t work that time. 

The inconsistency of my car – It turns every day into an adventure, and makes me feel like a thrill seeker. “Can it make it all the way back to Elgin? Damn it, I’ll have to try.” “Is it safe to be sitting in it when it smells so much like gasoline? Damn it, I’ll have to see.” “Is it good that the RPM dial keeps going into the red? Probably not, but damn it, just put black tape over it so you don’t have to look at it.” 

Listening to people grunt loudly at the gym – At first I thought it was disgusting and terrifying, but since I belong to a small gym with muted televisions and no music on a loud speaker, it’s nice to have the noise. Otherwise it’s like working out in a library. Plus it’s kind of funny. This one lady screams while doing her military style training. It makes me laugh, but I can’t LOL or she’ll hear me. So I LTM (laugh to myself (OMG, did I just make a new acronym?!?)). 

Hearing other peoples ringtones (OPR’s)- It really gives you a quick glimpse into someone else’s life. For example, the other day I heard a ringtone go off that was the Dr. Dre and Snoop Dogg song, “Nuthin But a ‘G’ Thang.” Immediately I knew that this person was probably way too cool to hang out with me, and was most likely a marijuana dealer. 

Watching George Clooney movies - I make a ton of jokes on this website about Clooney’s stunning good looks (not jokes), but I take for granted that the movies he decides to star in are great. When I saw a preview for Up in the Air I thought to myself, “That looks boring. I’ll never see that. That and that stupid looking Avatar movie.” Three months after I saw Avatar in the theatre four days after its release, I watched Up in the Air. It was great. I felt stupid for not believing in him.

Restarting my computer – It makes me feel like a strict boss. “OK, break time computer.” Computer quickly turns off. “OK, now back to work!” Computer turns on. I like to think that my computer also thinks of me as a strict boss and complains about me when I run to the bathroom. 

When I’m playing songs I purchased from Itunes and Sarah McLachlan’s “Building a Mystery” comes on – The only mystery here is how much I had to drink before buying this song. I don’t remember purchasing it, but I know I must have had a good masculine reason for doing so. Either way, once it comes on it brings back a great memory that I can’t remember.