Graduation Song
In order to extend this sabbatical, I’m trying to think of ways in which I can make a large amount of money in a short period of time without doing a lot of work. One idea I had was to make a graduation song.
It’s getting close to the time of year where kids all around the country are getting ready to graduate from high school. These delinquents are in desperate need of a graduation anthem that they can play at all of the ceremonies they will be attending in the next couple of months. When I was graduating, Vitamin C saved the day and came out with the smash (piece of s)hit song, “Graduation (Friends Forever).” We didn’t even have to listen to it to know that it was perfect.
In order to get Vitamin C rich, I decided to follow in her footsteps and create a graduation song of my own. I don’t have a tune for it, but I wrote lyrics and am willing to share them with any starving artist that is looking to get Vitamin C rich with me. The lyrics are below, and to keep up with the graduation theme, I posted pictures on the side. As a fun game I included a picture of someone graduating from sexy town. See if you can pick it out.
Now, without further adieu, I give you my smash hit graduation song titled…
You’re Graduating! O.M.G., L.O.L.!
It’s the big day That you’ve been waiting for Put on your cap and gown
And walk out the door
Everyone will be there To see you walk the aisle Even your drunken cousin Who was in jail for a while
This is the moment you imagined
Since you first walked through the halls
And now that this time is ending
There are so many memories to recall
Like that time you cornered that freshman I think his name was Reggie He had to get a testicle removed Because you gave him a wedgie
Or the time you decided To bring a gun to school And then it went off in your backpack And you blamed it on Raul.
He’ll be in jail
For about eight to ten
You hope when he gets out
He’ll still want to be your friend
There was the senior prank That went horribly wrong You never thought there’d be someone in the building R.I.P. Principal Chong
And then there was prom That night wasn’t so bad Until things got a little out of control And you pulled a knife on your date’s dad
The day you vomited in gym class Was something you’ll never forget
At least it wasn’t as bad as Frank Kaplan
Whose own pants he did shit.*
Remember the senior picnic? Oh what a joy! You told that chubby teacher She should lay off the Chips Ahoy’s
And when she was crying
You thought in your head
High school is great
I wish it wouldn’t end
(Chorus)
High School is over And the end is now O.M.G. L.O.L.(repeat chorus for twelve minutes)
* I don’t know a Frank Kaplan. If your name is Frank Kaplan and you happened to poop your pants in gym class, this is purely coincidental. Also, I’m sorry to hear about your misfortune.