I Remember…
I remember being 7 years old and hearing “Pump up the Jam” by Technotronic for the first time. Back then I thought that it was the best song ever created. Now I’m 28 and still waiting for someone to my prove 7 year old self wrong.
I remember the first time I drove a car alone. I just got my license and was extremely excited. I yelled “WOOOOOOO!” as soon as I was on the road. Two seconds later I pulled into an intersection and almost got hit by a truck. I remember never wanting to drive again after that happened.
I remember my first grade teacher telling the class that if you swallowed a penny, you would die. That same year I was laying on my back when a penny fell into my mouth and I accidentally swallowed it. I was convinced that I was going to die that evening. After miraculously making it through the night, I told my teacher that I had swallowed a penny and survived. She called me a liar. I love public school.
I remember hating the Channel 11 show Pinwheel, but was forced to watch it because it aired between my two favorite programs, Sesame Street and Todays Special. When I say forced to watch it, I mean that instead of actually going outside for once, my lazy childhood self decided to sit there and watch it. I probably spent 127 hours of my childhood watching a show that I didn’t like. I did the same this past Winter when my girlfriend decided to get into So You Think You Can Dance.
I remember thinking OJ didn’t do it. At the time I chose to ignore the overwhelming evidence against him and focus on the fact that I liked his character in the Naked Gun movies. As much as I tried to hold onto this belief over the years, it has become apparent that he was probably the murderer since he WROTE A hypothetical BOOK ABOUT HOW HE would have KILLED HIS WIFE.
I remember the lunch ladies at my grade school always mispronouncing my first name. They called me “See-Ann.” Combine that with their mispronunciation of my last name, and you get a child that all the lunch ladies knew as “See-Ann Mil-in-du-an-nah-moe.”
I remember in second grade we were given personalized blue cards. On this card was your name, then four human traits, one of which was circled to indicate which trait best described you. I believe the traits were “Smart,” “Friendly,” “Athletic,” and “Good Smile.” “Good Smile” was circled on mine. At the time I thought it was great. The early twenties good looking TA was the one who filled out my card, and for weeks I would smile every time I was around her since she obviously loved it. When I got older I realized that she was a liar. I had a terrible gap toothed smile at that age. It looked disgusting. To make things worse, I realized that she also didn’t think I was smart, friendly, or athletic. That little blue card is a daily reminder that my second grade TA felt that I was a waste of an eight year old. I love public school.
SEANSSABBATICAL MEGAWEEK!