My Sledding Nightmare
I was 8 years old. I hadn’t been sledding all year, and my friend’s dad had promised to take us after school.
Like any other 8 year old, I had done my fair share of sledding. My family had a long blue plastic sled that we used every winter, and I had become very comfortable with it. Unfortunately I didn’t bring it on this trip, so instead I had to use the extra grey tin saucer sled that my friend had.
My family had one of those sleds in our garage. However my brother and I never used it because it looked old, dangerous and stupid. But I guess my friend’s parents refused to fork over the $7 it cost to buy a sled from the twentieth century, so these were the only kind that they had. I was skeptical about using an unfamiliar sled, but I was assured that they were just as fun.
We went sledding at the Wing Park Pavilion in Elgin, Il.
This was, and still may be, a local hot spot for sledding. You have to look in the back of the picture to see the hill, and seeing it now I realize that it looks pretty weak. But as a child this hill was Mt. Everest.
For our first run, my friend and I decided to go down the hill on our tin death sleds at the same time. As we began, it immediately became obvious that my friend was an expert at controlling these sleds… and it immediately became clear that I had no idea what I was doing.
For about one second we were traveling along side each other. Then he decided to slow down his speed, while I did nothing of the sort because I didn’t know how. Keep in mind that I’m 8 years old and unaware that the physics behind slowing down a sled is consistent regardless of what model or brand is being used.
I was flying down this hill at a dangerous speed. Then about halfway down, as I was approaching the sound barrier, my saucer sled spun my body around 180 degrees without decreasing in speed.
Now I was going down this hill backwards at a speed that in only reached in time travel experiments. As the picture above shows, there are scattered trees on this hill. On top of that, on this particular day this place was packed with fellow sledders. So not being able to see in front of me is the worst thing that could happen.
I vaguely remember my friend yelling, “jump off!” But I was so terrified that my body was in a state of comatose. All I could do was hold onto that sled and hope that there was a God.
By some miracle I avoided all the trees and innocent bystanders. But that didn’t mean I was in the clear. If you look at the picture again you will notice a group of benches at the bottom of the hill. That day, while going down that hill backwards at the speed of light, I slammed back first into the corner of one of those benches.
It immediately knocked the wind out of me. I blacked out for a second, and when I came to there was a bunch of kids staring at me with shocked expressions. They probably thought they just saw a kid die right before their eyes.
I decided to get up. This must have scared the kids even more, because when I got up, because the wind had gotten knocked out of me, I was making this noise…
The kids just stared as I was stumbling towards them. I remember one kid saying,
“Shit, are you alright?”
But I couldn’t stop making that noise, and I couldn’t walk straight. I imagine with my moaning and crippled posture, I looked a lot like Frankenstein. And just like kids do when they see Frankenstein, they all ran away from me when I got too close. My friend’s dad rushed down to help me out, and after catching my breath and getting the feeling back in my spine, I headed towards the top of the hill.
Because of my horrific experience, I was hesitant to sled anymore. As my friend and his little brother went up and down the hill, I stayed at the top and observed. My friend’s dad, feeling bad for me, went back to his car and got a different sled that he thought I might be more comfortable with. It turned out to be the same type of long plastic sled that I was accustomed to.
What the hell?!? This guy had this in his trunk the whole time?!? He put me on his rocket ship widow maker sled when he had a plastic one designed to not kill children in his trunk all along?!? I was baffled. But I was also ready to sled again.
When my friend and his brother were sledding without me, they kept hitting a manmade ramp that was built at the bottom of the hill. They did it with ease, and the air time they were getting was nothing that would suggest that this was a dangerous undertaking. So I decided to forget about the past and dominate the ramp at the bottom of the hill.
I was off. I was going down the hill at a reasonable speed while controlling my sled’s every maneuver. I was in my comfort zone, and as I approached the ramp, I was proud of my sledding abilities.
I hit the ramp.
……….
I have very few visual memories from my early childhood. If I had to count them, I would say that I can visually remember about four or five things. What I experienced here was one of them.
After hitting the ramp, I was immediately looking at my legs and feet against a winter sky backdrop. Confused? So was I.
For reasons unknown, instead of simply hitting a bump and going over it, the ramp threw me into the air at a 90 degree angle. As a visual, imagine the kid in this picture, only instead of laying on the ground, I’m six feet above the ground and flying.
It seemed like I was in the air for hours. I knew I was in for a crash landing, and all I could do was brace myself. Eventually I hit the ground, falling on my back and hitting my head onto the pavement.
What a terrible day. I was so excited two hours earlier. But at this point I had tried sledding twice, and I had failed twice. I was done. There was no way I was going down that hill anymore. Ever. In fact, I don’t think I’ve been on that hill since.
My friend’s dad rushed down the hill again and helped me back up. I was a wreck. I couldn’t stop getting hurt. I felt like the coyote from the roadrunner cartoons. His dad realized that I had been through enough trauma and decided to take me home. When I walked into my house my mom asked me if I had fun. Instead of explaining my story, I just broke down and cried.