Mr. Miyagi Might Have Been a Pedophile
It’s a theory I’ve been discussing for years. It began one night in college when I was drinking and watching The Karate Kid. I was sitting there enjoying this nostalgic film, when like an abusive uncle it hit me: the relationship between Mr. Miyagi and Daniel is quite sketchy. Here we have an elderly veteran devoting all of his time to the adorable kid from New Jersey, the pedophile victim capital of the world.* I watched the Miyagi/Daniel scenes from the film again this morning to see if I noticed anything suspicious, and I stumbled upon some red flags that suggest Miyagi’s motives may not have just been teaching this kid karate.
When Daniel first arrives at his apartment complex in California, he is greeted by the hunky Freddy Fernandez. Within the first couple of minutes of meeting Daniel, Freddy expresses his interest in learning karate. The superintendent at his building is Asian, and it’s a fact that all Asian’s know karate.* However, Freddy has never asked Miyagi for lessons. Why? Because kids around the neighborhood know not to go near creepy old man Miyagi. Their parents have warned them about this pervert, but since Daniel’s friendship with Freddy is short lived he is never properly cautioned about the sex offender who dwells downstairs. Even in the Halloween scene where Miyagi shows off his three pumpkins (bait), not one child comes to the door to trick-or-treat. This is most likely because they have been instructed not to to Miyagi’s door by their parents. As a kid, there were houses I was warned to not go trick-or-treating at, and I guarantee it wasn’t because my parents thought I might be disturbing the residents martial arts training.
Another thing that struck me as odd is what Miyagi does to the bullies that are harrassing Daniel. Because a group of Kobra Kai’s have been battering Daniel’s pretty face, he does what any responsible adult would do in that situation: he kicks their ass! An elderly man beats up five eighteen year olds at once. Two things seem odd about that: 1) An adult just beat up kids. Even in the eighties that was illegal. Yet instead of scaring the kids off by yelling at them or threatening to call the police, Miyagi jumps a fence and beats the life out of five teenages who just left a costume party. 2) You know what kind elderly man would have the strength to beat up five young karate experts? A horny one. Horny people have more strength than Superman,* and when Miyagi saw Daniel getting his ass pounded, he had the strength of twelve thousand elephants. Speaking of the debacle that was Daniel’s evening at the Halloween dance…
…it’s almost like Miyagi schemed up the whole scenario. Daniel didn’t want to go to the costume dance because he knew he’d get his ass kicked. So what does Miyagi do? He makes him a costume and demands that he go. I’m sure Miyagi knew his share of Kamikaze pilots back in his war days, and he was aware of how those missions ended… yet he sent Daniel to the wolves to get roughed up, making it necessary for Miyagi to come and save the day. This put Daniel in his debt, and he was hoping that debt would be paid off at his love palace…
Miyagi has a second home outside of the apartment complex. It’s a rickety secluded house that, along with the fences, needs to be painted, has old cars that need to be waxed, and has floors that need to be sanded. Sounds like he hasn’t spent too much time there lately. But when naive sexy boy Daniel comes to town, the brothel is open for business. Even more frightening is Miyagi’s one rule of the house: “I say, you do. No question.” Yikes.
And the gifts he gives this kid? Ridiculous. He fixes his bike, making it better than new. A typical predator would consider a new bike enough to allure a child, but Miyagi takes it up a notch; he gives him a karate robe that his deceased wife made for him, a classic car, and a Bonsai tree. Not only is he bestowing to him a sentimental gift his dead wife gave him decades earlier, but he’s also giving him rare shrubs and automobiles. In retrospect, within the first few months of their relationship, Miyagi gave a sixteen year old a new bike, a car, a karate outfit, and a fucking Bonsai tree! He throws in a pack of smokes and a Hustler and Daniel has everything a sixteen year old boy could ever want. But where’s the pay off? Why didn’t Miyagi ever try to score with this Italian dream boat? Well he did, but unfortunately he blew it…
After a rough date with Allie, Daniel comes over to Miyagi’s to blow off some steam. When he arrives, Miyagi is drunk (by the way Pat Morita plays one of the best drunks in the history of film). Seeing his chance, Miyagi pours the vulnerable Daniel a drink. Not used to the taste of liquor, Daniel coughs and struggles to get the drink down, all to the delight of his bartender. Miyagi laughs at him, pours him another round, and pleads for him to take another drink. Then, in attempt to impress and arouse the teenager, he demonstrates his old Army drills while wearing his military uniform. Fed up with all the foreplay, Miyagi goes for the score by popping a squat on his bed. Unfortunately he overestimated how much liquor he could handle, and when the karate master sits down, he falls asleep. Sixty years of karate training couldn’t prepare him for the effects of cheap whiskey, and his big night turns into his biggest failure.
These are not the only things that put in question Mr. Miyagi’s motives. If you watch the movie, you’ll notice that Miyagi rarely looks in Mrs. Larousso’s eyes (most likely out of guilt), he frequently wears flamboyant Hawaiian shirts, and he always makes sure that Daniel gets wet when they are around a body of water. It’s like something out of a child molesters playbook.
Now obviously I’m not saying that Pat Morita himself was a pedophile. In fact, I think the picture below proves otherwise…
… and it’s possible that the character Mr. Miyagi wasn’t a pedophile either. Regardless, it’s worth nothing that Miyagi’s relationship with the sixteen year old Daniel was very inappropriate.
You don’t see movies like The Karate Kid anymore. Because of internet predators, film executives are no longer encouraged to make movies about latchkey kids who exclusively hang out with old men. It’s just another thing that Chris Hansen has ruined for all of us.
*This statistic is completely assumed.