My Most Despised Blog… NOW WITH AUDIO!!!!

By Sean Patrick

It’s the blog that I’ve gotten the most grief about. It’s the blog that has caused strangers to curse me out and tell me how terrible I am. It’s the blog that has caused family members to change their last name and un-invite me to holiday parties.

That’s right, I’m talking about my blog titled…

YO MOMMA JOKES!!!!!

I have never heard anything good about this post. In fact, I still get emails from people leaving comments on how stupid it was. The most recent was a delight. Two weeks ago I logged into my email to find a message with the subject  ”FUCK YOU,” and a message stating “THEY SUCKED SOOOOOOOOO BAD.” Another stranger informed me that, “Dude, u suck.” While the intention of the blog was for it to be so bad that it was good (like the movie Schindler’s List), it apparently missed the mark.

After this much criticism, you’d think I’d be tempted to delete this blog from the website.

But I’m going the opposite direction, and giving my most despised blog….

AN AUDIO TRACK!!!!!

Let the hilarity begin!

                 Yo momma gets nosebleeds!

                Yo momma so fat, there’s an Amber Alert out for her belly button!

            Yo momma so fat and stupid, she thought running for president meant running to the Jewel to buy President’s Choice cookies! (optional: “And they some nasty cookies!”)

               Yo momma gave my dog rabies!

              Yo momma’s toenails are so sharp, they were used to kill Nicole Brown Simpson!

             Yo momma’s so clueless, she thought 9/11 was 0.818181!

       Yo momma so poor and desperate, she brought Monopoly money to the currency exchange!

          Yo momma’s eyebrows are so thick, Alan Thicke sued her! (with this one, quickly go into another “yo momma” joke before people realize that it doesn’t make sense)

        Yo momma ate the library!

          Yo momma’s missing!

     Yo momma so dumb, she thought the vacuum cleaner was a device to clean her vacuum!

           Yo momma so stupid, she thought she was putting farts into her gas tank!

      Yo momma’s head so big, kids hope she gets dandruff so they can get a day off of school!

           Yo momma’s a truck driver!

          Yo momma’s so manly, she’s Burt Reynolds!

                      Yo momma’s dead!

                  Yo momma went to DeVry!

          Yo momma’s so boring, she’s from Montana!

                Yo momma eats so much food, she gonna get diabetes! 

                Yo momma likes flavors and winter so much, she ate Vanilla Ice! 

               Yo momma so old, she knew the thirteenth president of the United States! (if the person replies with, “You mean Millard Fillmore?” come back with, “Dang, you’s a nerd!)

                    Yo momma eats’ bugs!

              Yo momma has so many seizures… is she ok?